don't know what's right and what's real anymore I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore When do you think it will all become clear Cuz I'm being taken...
Let’s start this all over
don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear
Cuz I’m being taken over by the fear
*Lily Allen – The Fear
It’s been a while since I posted anything on the blog and the reason behind this, is that I couldn’t manage to pull myself together in order to write anything that I considered to be somewhat meaningful. Nothing made sense and everything seemed shallow and unreal.
My life recently has been an emotional roller coaster and I realized that everything came to this point because of my own decisions that I made in the past years. I’ve had periods when I blamed everything on other people and I couldn’t see that my lack of confidence was in fact something that I have burden myself with, all out of fear of failure.
Always playing on the safe side of things has led me to a place where my rational decisions made me feel unfulfilled. Being safe is good but not when you have bigger, bolder dreams. Taking risks was never something I was keen on, but is something that I definitely need to change. The fear of being judged or not being good enough has made me over-analyze everything.
I needed a break to clear my head and start enjoying real life more but now I am back, with a purpose and a clearer view of what I need to do. Hope I will have the right energy to change my ways for the better. Everyday is a struggle but sometimes even the bad decisions make up for better stories than the safe or “what if” ones.